Monday, August 12, 2013

Perfectionism? Me?

Sometimes I'm just too hard on myself.

I'm not a perfectionist in the usual sense of the word.  I don't care if I get things done just right (um).  I do care that I do a lot of things.  And then I can get really mean to myself about how many things I'm getting done.

Hanging out the clothes today... I looked at how much of what I was hanging has been made by my hands, and I blinked a bit.

See, I get mad at myself for not being constantly at my sewing machine.  I have such a long list of things "to sew"... I tell myself what a slacker I am.  Why do I even have ready-made garments?  Shame!

Uh.

I've made my own jewelry.  I'm a good cook.  I read and write and think.  I homeschool.  I'm a decent friend.

But I'm not perfect.  I don't make everything, even though I probably could.  I don't cook everything from scratch, even though I probably could.  My house isn't as clean as it ought to be, and I do seem to have a talent for killing household machinery.    I don't have a big enough garden, and it's not producing well enough, and I should weed every day.  I could do with more exercise, and why isn't my waistline changing more quickly?

There is *always* something in life to criticize.  But the more I am critical of myself instead of embracing positive change as an opportunity to grow and bring myself into alignment with who I am in my heart of hearts, the less able I am to move forward.  And I get snarky and not fun to be around.

Change isn't easy.  And no one is perfect.  Just move.

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