The last 48 hours I've found myself giving the same sets of advice over, and over, and over. And over again! When I do that, it's time to listen to my own advice, even if it wasn't originally aimed at the woman in the mirror.
1) If you keep doing the same things over and over and getting the same results - either change what you're doing, or stop complaining about the results.
2) Expectations shape reality - if you aim high, you'll end up higher than if you aimed at what you think is "attainable". You may as well try to get what you really want (God willing, of course). No harm, no foul.
3) So what do you want?
What do I want? Interestingly, at least to me, a lot of what I want I'm vaguely ashamed of wanting. I wonder if that's not why I haven't attained.
- I want to be beautiful
- I want to be fit and healthy and strong, with plenty of vim and vigor
- I want to have a clean house with good organization, good rhythms, and not a lot of fuss
- I want to be hospitable, which includes my immediate family as well as those outside the fold
- I want to create beauty (aka keep sewing, do more decorating, find my art, etc)
- I want to write a book
- I want to be a tiny bit famous. Not wildly, just, "Oh - you're Hearthrose? Cool."
- I want my garden to be inviting and pleasant, with flowers and fruit in abundance
You know, none of that is terribly shocking. I guess I feel like wanting that stuff - or some of it - is a bit gauche. I should just hang about and let God give me what He will. Now, I'm all about being in God's will, and if He doesn't want me to have something, that's to my best and no quibbling. BUT... perhaps the reason I don't have these things (or not to the extent that I'd like) is a lack of work on my part rather than a closed door on His.
I've been doing #1 for a long time. Things are well enough. Well enough. But change? Well. That's going to take a bit of #2, not just "work harder doing more or less what you were doing in the first place". And I have some thinking to do.........