Friday, October 10, 2014

Nibbled to death by ducks

SuperSlavisWife and Elspeth challenged me to do a week in the life of me.  (Here:  http://hearthtobelovely.wordpress.com/2014/10/08/a-week-in-the-life-of-me/ if you want it).

I only put the thing up over at HHH because I wanted to make it easier to have a convo.  Usually householdy stuff is here.



What's interesting is the various fallout.

1) I tried really hard to impress imaginary people and stressed myself out.  "What's the next task, can't let the side down!"

2) I noticed that my theoretical schedule and my real life weren't meshing well.  That's useful, and I need to look at that more closely.  It's very very easy to devalue the things I hold dearest to take care of the ducks that nibble and/or things that I think make me look like a better person.

It's tricky for me.  I am a person whose energy-source is time spent in nature, alone... and whose deepest desire is to work creatively.  And on paper I value those things, but emotionally, I feel like the time I spend on "me" is essentially selfish time - it's hard to devote myself to that time without feeling like I'm leaving things undone.  (And I need to watch my phone time - I can't sew on the phone, though I can clean up a storm.... at some point I need to say, "enough!" and put down the duster and start running my sewing machine).

But then a week or two goes by and I hardly touch my machine, I don't get out in nature, and I feel blobby.  I'm not Candy... I don't actually *like* cleaning.  I clean because it needs to be done, and I can do it on autopilot.  And I value an orderly and beautiful space.  Can't have flowers on the dining room table if you can't find the dining room table under the debris!  

Well, BB said you needed a priority list, and I think it's time to think that out a bit.... perhaps I'll do that over at HHH.  I do my best thinking while "talking", after all!  :D


1 comment:

Please keep your comments lovely. I encourage discussion, but I will erase ugliness. And let's not shoot fish in a barrel please - no picking on specific people, even celebrities.